Games journalism is always heavily criticized for its terrible ways and awful content, so Daily Reaction’s Seb and Dan have decided to leave the sordid industry. Instead, the duo are launching a new gossip column, in honor of their idol Perez Hilton. Enjoy!
Seb:
EXCLUSIVE: Emmett Graves’ Crazy Party Binge Before Rehab
OHH–EMM–GRAVES!!! Notorious party hound Emmett Graves has been spotted by paps leaving the White Sands nightclub, despite a court ordered rehab session for rift energy addiction starting tomorrow. Will this hot cowboy ever get clean?
Life on Mars: Ethan Continues to Fight Custody Battle
We here at PerezStation LifeStyle can’t help but feel sorry for the dark and mysterious Ethan, who is desperately fighting a custody battle for his one remaining son, Shaun. Prosecutors claim that Ethan’s negligence led to the death of his first child, Jason, and the kidnap of Shaun. There were also reports of self mutilation and, worst of all, it appears he may have now turned to Scientology.
Don’t be Such a VaasHole
After a promising career as a Hollywood psychologist studying insanity, Vaas broke down during a live episode of Celebrity Survivor after island life grew too difficult. Critics attacked Vaas for calling rival contestant Claptrap “soulless”, as well as making fun of his “strangely shaped nuts”.
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Agony Aunt: Catherine Answers Your Questions
“Catherine, I do a morning show called Morning Wood that has garnered enough attention to be on YouTube. My high celebrity status puts a strain on my social interactions with the people around me, because I know that I am better looking and more popular than them. How do I repair my relationships and make people accept that I am in fact a better and more attractive individual than those that would feign to be my peers?”
– Wood, Utah.
“Hi Wood, Thank you for your e-mail! Dealing with publicity can be a real pain, but just remember that they love you! People often ask me what it’s like being an international sex symbol, but I tell them that I’m not going to have any nightmares about it!
It sounds like you’re suffering from a case of egotitis, and we recommend that you climb Ishtar’s tower to be humbled at how small your wood is in comparison to that colossus. <3 “
Catherine, in your dreams.
If you have any questions for Catherine, email [email protected]!
Wow! Look at this Fatty!
Eww, I feel sick looking at her! New images have leaked of the ‘Fat Princess’ of York. With her, the cake certainly isn’t a lie! She should be ashamed and never eat again.
Wow! Look at this Anorexic!
Now this is just terrible. Rapper Sir Daniel Fortesque was well known for being a nice and chubby musician, leading the media to lovingly call him Vanilla Ice With Extra Cream in thousands of articles. Now he’s gone on an extreme diet and has developed an eating disorder, acting as if someone told him to never eat again. What would drive him to do that?
Dan:
Nathan Drake Pulls Gun on Paparazzi After Bender!
Resident bad boy Nathan Drake apparently drew his gun on paparazzi this weekend after a drunken bender that led to him burning down a home. Eyewitnesses report Drake was enraged after a quarrel with his long time sliver-fox boyfriend Sully, who was caught talking to a bald man with a scar. Are #Nully set for a breakup?
The Cow Finally Gets the Worm
The late 90’s star Earthworm Jim, who was reported to be in a civil-lawsuit with series favorite, The Cow, due to Jim supposedly launching the co-star with a refrigerator, has been put on the hook once again. Now a leaked sextape between the two shows the dairy-belle and rocket rider in a not so farm fresh situation, putting the case on hold as information comes out from this utterly disturbing case.
Kratos Love Child Found, Kratos Denies
With the results still pending, young Krammer is still waiting for his anything-but-heavenly father to acknowledge him, while his mother is distraught over the whole ordeal. Muscled playboy Kratos refuses to say the child is his as he stands by his statement:
“I never pushed X with that woman.”
Mickey Caught in Mouse Trap
Famed actor and street artist Mickey was photographed yesterday defacing a building with a strange powder like substance on his nose. Having battled a history of substance abuse since Minnie left him for his best friend Donald, and failed attempts to enter the games industry, it was only a matter of time before he went back to the white cheddar.
Turn to page 2 for more celeb gossip, sexy goodness and downright dirtiness!!!
