The Top E3 2018 Press Conference Announcements of Nothing

Top E3 2018 Press Conference Announcements of Nothing

I’m not sure I’ve ever really seen more vague E3 presentations than I have for this year’s show. Several brand-spanking new announcements had literally nothing to say or show. Some games we already knew about still had vague trailers and presentations. And then there were those that were pretty much placeholders saying, “Hey this is a thing. Kthxbai.”

It was befuddling to say the least. At least it made some interesting commentary in the PSLS war room as we watched the various conferences together and hammered out who was going to write about what. Personally, I thought such vagueness would end with Bethesda’s press conference, but oh-ho, how very wrong I was.

After sorting through the many announcements at these pressers, here are the top E3 press conference announcements that say nothing. And yes, these span across ALL of the press conferences.

Did we miss any you thought were the vaguest of vague?

Essential Reading

E3 2018 Nothing Announcements

Starfield

It is SUPER exciting that Bethesda is working on a brand new IP for the first time in 25 years. It's even more exciting that it's a sci-fi title. But, um, maybe don't mention anything until you have something to show? That is, other than space, a planet, and a ship and a comment that it's a next-gen title. If they mean next-gen as in PS5 next-gen, then we won't be able to see anything with it for awhile anyway.
Control - Sony

At first glance, I thought this might be a sequel to Quantum Break. A lot of the mechanics seemed similar, not to mention the color scheme. But no, this isn't Quantum Break or a true sequel, and we have no idea what kind of powers this female protagonist has. It looks like she has control over things, but what kind of control?

Granted, as it is a Remedy game, it wouldn't be them without keeping a lot of the mystery going until release.
Daemon X Machina - Nintendo

Whatever this is, it looks amazing. Love the cel-shading, love the Platinum Games-esque action, and love that it's about mechs. But, um, what is this, really? Is it a single-player experience? Is it Battle Royale? Come on, Nintendo, you had talking heads in your presentation. No one could give any hints?
Death Stranding - Sony

Yes, we've seen more of Death Stranding than we've ever seen before with this E3 trailer, but we still have no idea what the hell this is, either. No idea what Norman Reedus and Norman Fetus (especially Norman Fetus) are doing.
Halo Infinite - Microsoft

I knew Microsoft was going to announce a new Halo title. It had been some time since Halo 5: Guardians' release, and Microsoft needs them exclusives right now. Considering the number of Halo games out there, how exactly is this announcement nothing? We already know what the game is about, and we know what the combat is. All are valid points, but it's the name of this entry that befuddles what this could be.

What does the Infinite part mean? Is this a true #6 in the franchise or is it like ODST or Reach? Or is this Halo: Battle Royale? (Dear God, please no.)
The Quiet Man - Square Enix

Square Enix had a bizarre showcase, in that it was about 30 minutes of a sizzle reel of their upcoming titles. No explanation. No talking heads. They just showed the games and dropped the mic. For most of their announcements it worked, because it was regarding Final Fantasy XIV, Dragon Quest XI, NieR: Automata, and Kingdom Hearts III. However, they threw in a live-actiony game called The Quiet Man with no bravado, and then quickly went on to the next thing on their list. A little explanation would have been nice, Squenix.
The Elder Scrolls VI - Bethesda

This announcement cracked me up. Bethesda knows what the people want, and evidently, they want grass, fog, and a logo of a popular franchise. Bethesda closed their show with a literal 37-second trailer of grass, fog, and a font. That's really all they needed, as fans of the series lost their minds on Twitter over an announcement that literally said nothing.